Starting Over -Sequel to Rush of Blood to the Head-
by smashkitty
Summary: Cyan Rush is doing fine. She's helping people. She's forgotten the Teen Titans. She's made a new team and new friends. Her past is forgotten- or, at least, that's what she keeps telling herself. With all that she's been though, Rush hasn't learned that you can't outrun the past. What will happen when she's backed up against the ultimate wall and has to realize who she's become?
1. Chapter 1

**Cyan Rush is back! This is a sequel to A Rush of Blood to the Head, so if you haven't read that yet, I highly recommend it if you're the kind of person who likes to know what's going on in a story [:**

 **Please review! I'm trying to make this longer and better than the last book, and I would really love tips and constructive criticism. I do not own the Teen Titans! I only own my OCs.**

 **#**********#**

I stare out the window as the doctor drones on. The patter of rain seems to match the pace of his voice. It would be so easy to just nod off, but mom said that this was important. So far, I don't believe her.

Their voices go back and forth. A stray dog runs across the small field in front of me. I peer through the window to get a better look, but it turns a corner and disappears behind another building. I should sketch it later; I haven't drawn dogs in a while.

"That's fine; I think it's just up to Candace, now."

I lift my head at the mention of my name. Mom is looking at me the way she does when I do something embarrassing. Her pure blue eyes are sharp. When I was little, they used to scare me until I learned that her threatening face is just that- a threat. Mom never puts any energy into actually disciplining me. Not that she needs to, I don't get in trouble. What kind of trouble can a crippled girl get into, anyway?

"Candace, have you been paying attention?"

I keep silent, playing with the frayed drawstring on my hoodie.

"Candace, the doctor wants to know if you want this operation- they need your consent."

I raise an eyebrow. What does she mean? They've been planning this for months, and just now they want to know my opinion? Of course I do. This is my chance to finally be normal. I need this.

"I-um…yeah. I do." My voice squeaks.

The doctor pushes a paper towards me. "Good. Sign here."

I shyly take the pen from a cup and sign my name: Candace Dawn Ross. The doctor takes the paper and files it away somewhere.

"Okay. Now, me and your mother need to talk alone for a moment, is that okay?" He asks, even though it's not my choice.

I nod my head and a nurse wheels me out of the room and into the waiting hall. I frown. I can push myself, my arms work just fine.

A few minutes later, mom comes out of the room talking on the phone. By the way she talks so quietly I can tell its dad. He must be working at the library, again.

"C'mon, Candace."

I follow behind mom and ignore the stares that other nurses and patients give me. Mom holds the door open for me and I release a breath when the door closes behind us. I don't like hospitals.

Mom helps me into the car and drives silent, other than the occasional scoff or protest when a reckless driver cuts in front of her. Suddenly, she turns to me, her face concerned.

"Candace, do you hate this?" She motions to my legs.

"What do you mean?" I ask lightly.

"Your-um- condition. Being like this."

I swallow. What does she want me to say? Yes, I can barely get up in the morning, mom. I have to remind myself every day that I'm different, and watch other children play while I stay in my room. All I've ever wanted is to be able to help people, not be seen as someone who needs to be helped. Yes, mom- I hate this.

"Its okay mom, it isn't as bad as it seems. And besides, I'm getting the surgery soon, so who cares?" I smile. Mom doesn't return it. She grips the wheel as her eyes turn back to the road.

#************#

My eyes open as I scream in excitement. Today's the day! Or at least, I'm pretty sure it is. I reach over and grab my phone, unlocking the home screen and looking for the calendar. The eighth! It is today! I hear the door open and I turn. Dad furrows his brows in confusion as I smile like a crazy person.

"Dad, today's the day!"

"I know that, Candace Dawn." He lets a hint of a smile show on his face. "It's almost time to go, which shoes do you want to wear?"

I don't even care, just point at a random pair and throw the covers off, grabbing the safety railing of my bed and pulling my body into the wheelchair with a grunt.

"You're getting stronger, Candace. Usually I have to carry you to your chair."

Yeah, I'm strong enough to drag myself into a wheelchair. Where's my gold star?

I smile the whole way to the hospital and down the hall, even with Nurse Bernadette's usual greeting of stares and "poor little girl" comments. Today, I become my childhood dream.

#************#

My parents wave to me as I begin to be wheeled away to surgery. They seem a little nervous. They're never nervous.

"Okay, you're just going to feel a little prick- alright, honey?" A nurse's voice says.

I stare at the rolling white ceiling. The hospital bed crinkles underneath me. Something tugs at my arm, but then it goes numb.

"I want you to count to ten, okay?"

For a second, I wonder if she means out-loud or in my head, but then I settle on counting inside.

One…

Two…

I see a flash of something out the corner of my eye.

Three…

Four…

A man hands something to one of the nurses. He catches my glance and stares. Why does he seem scared?

Five…

Six…

He types something hurriedly on a laptop and leaves out a backdoor after looking behind him.

Seven…

Eight…

I close my eyes and sigh. I never make it to ten.

#********#

I wake up and stare into darkness. My heart skips a beat, as it always does when I wake. I blindly reach for my mask, and press it onto my face.

A golden-eyed face stares down at me.

"Gah! What the heck, Leon-!"

"Good morning, Blue!"

I push Leon's head away and adjust my mask. Its default setting is always a crappy battery-saving mode that gives me the vision of a ninety-year-old. I wish I- or someone- could fix that, but there's nobody around who could fix a custom-made mask.

With the vision set to maximum, I can make out every little detail around me. My room is still the same standard white and blue that it's been for months, but there's something different here. Leon smiles at me, his dark-orange hair combed unlike usual- but he also seems taller. Leon's always been about an inch shorter than me, but he makes up for it with his straight posture. That's when I realize it- he's wearing heels!

"Leon, usually I'm not surprised by your freakiness- but this is a whole new level." I half-joke.

He twirls around, almost falling.

"They make my look good, don't deny it! But they're not for me," He slips them off. "They're for the birthday girl!" I squint as he hands the blue, sparkly heels to me.

"It's my- wait! Oh my gosh! How did I forget?"

Leon laughs that shrill, ringing kind of burst that used to make me flinch. "Told you yesterday, but maybe it wasn't a good time."

"Yeah, when you're fighting muggers, it isn't really a good time to bring up birthdays." I deadpan.

That laugh again.

I examine the heels as Leon watches me out of the corner of my eye. He's standing straight-as-a-solider like usual. That aspect of him is something that I've never really understood. Leon isn't really the type of guy to be raised in a military sort of household, but he always seems to carry an air of confidence with him, as well as uncontained-energy. It makes me wonder what his parents were- or are- like. Leon's never really talked about his childhood, which just makes him all the more confusing.

"Like 'em?" He asks.

The shoes are just right for my style. The heels don't go high enough to seem suggestive, and the glitter is sprinkled fairly, to give it a slight glint.

"Yeah, you bought these for me?"

Leon rubbed the back of his head. "Um, well, we all pitched in- but it was really Adara's idea."

As if on cue, the brunette herself bounces in, her short hair moving with her.

"Speak of the devil!" Leon greets. Adara cocks her head and scrunches her thin eyebrows.

"Huh? I'm not the devil, Leon. " Adara pipes.

"It's just an expression, princess."

Adara shrugs it off and skips over to me. "Cyan Rush! You have the gift! Do you enjoy it?"

I nod. "Of course, Adara. This was your idea?"

Her freckled-face lights up. "Yes- yeah, isn't it brilliant- I mean… cool?" She emphasizes the last word strangely, as if she's never said it before. She probably hasn't.

"Yeah, how did you know I wanted a pair like these?" I ask.

Her upturned nose scrunches. "I can't reveal my sources, Cyan Rush!"

I smile. When I first met Adara, we became fast friends. There's something funny about her constant prideful attitude and the fact that she isn't really aware of what's around her. Adara comes from some small country in Europe- one that I've never heard of. Her family's heirloom was given to her as soon as she turned fifteen. That heirloom is a powerful staff that can harness energy from the user. Adara told me that she was sent on a one-year trip to explore the world, and she decided to come here- to Skip City- of all places. For some reason, I get the feeling that she won't return to her home. She's definitely the most dedicated out of all of us to helping this city- besides me. Adara wants to help people for fun, but I want to help this city because it's what I _need_ to do. There's a reason I left Jump City, and it wasn't for enjoyment.

"Oh, and Cyan Rush? Mindshift wants to see you in the meeting room." Adara looks up at me as I pull on my boots.

"Sure thing."

My teammates leave.

I straighten my blond hair and take a deep breath as I look in the mirror. The tiredness in my blue eyes are long gone- have been for about a year now. The slight baby fat that I used to have in my cheekbones has disappeared, now my face is a bit narrower. My body is still skinny, but I've put on some muscle. All in all, I seem healthier. I feel healthier, too. My nightmares are down to once per week, but I still get that stupid nagging voice in the back of my head often. Oh well, as long as no one notices, it will be fine.

It will all be fine.


	2. Chapter 2

I smell cake as I walk into the large kitchen. I'm greeted with two of my other teammates standing near the counter. Mindshift- or Mindy, as the much more easy to pronounce version- is in the middle of giving Quinn a lecture. Her olive complexion is slightly flushed, and her gloved hands stay tight at her sides.

"You cannot just walk in here and expect for there to be no consequences for breaking the rules." Mindy fights to keep her voice leveled. Her brown eyes bore into black ones. Quinn doesn't back down, he stays defiant- even with Mindy's obvious height advantage.

"No one said there were any rules for trying a little frosting!" His cracking voice counters.

Mindy sighs and straightens her green headband lying atop her black hair. "You should have known that was for Rush's birthday. Now the cake's frosting is smeared."

"It's not a big deal, _mom_!" Quinn sticks his tongue out. "I'm done with this- I have to go run diagnostics." He switches on his Q-Suit and disappears. I blink- I'll never get used to that. Quinn created that suit as the first-ever cloaking technology, and now he wears it everywhere. I'm worried that he's using that suit as some sort of get-out-of-any-argument-free card.

Mindy groans and touches the beauty-mark below her right eye. "I'll never understand that kid."

I smile sheepishly and slide into the bar stool. "Kid? He's fifteen- only three years younger than you."

"Yes, I know, but he acts like a toddler." She answers tiredly.

I grab a fork and flip it between my fingers. "Well, he is the smartest out of all of us."

Mindy gasps and looks at me. "Rush, I'm sorry about your cake. Quinn-"

"All he did was eat some frosting off of it- I don't really care."

Mindy sighs again, and silence begins to build between us.

"Oh- um, Adara said you needed to see me?" I say.

"Yes, I just wanted to ask you what restaurant you want to go to for your birthday."

"Well, we could all go to that burger place that just opened up." I offer.

"Okay. We'll do that at the end of the day."

I smile, but a little disappointed on the inside. Being a superhero means that birthday parties wait until the end. Not that I have the right to complain- saving people should be put first.

A loud alarm rings out, and I jump a little in my seat. I don't think I'll get used to that anytime soon.

"Time to go." Mindy says to herself. I grab my blue and white gloves from the counter.

"What's the problem this time?" Leon shouts from the living room.

Quinn's voice sounds over the intercom. "There's a building on fire on 23rd street. The safety guys are already there, but they need help."

"Safety guys?" Adara asks, walking into the kitchen with her staff glowing and ready.

"That's what he calls the law enforcement." I answer her.

Mindy presses the hidden button behind her ear and the walls around us slowly lower. I walk to the edge of the HQ and look out over the city. It's a good thing I'm not afraid of heights- the HQ is almost as tall as the Titan's Tower. Wait- why did I think of that? I can't even really recall what the tower looks like anymore.

"Let's go, everyone." Mindy transforms into an eagle and dives off the edge of the building. I motion for the rest of the team. Adara laughs as she begins to levitate off the ground. She grabs Leon's hand, lifting him up with her.

I narrow my eyes. "Is that safe?" I call up to Leon.

Adara smiles. "Don't fret, Cyan Rush! I won't drop him!" Leon shouts happily as they fly across the sky towards bird-Mindy. I sigh as Quinn sets up his gear and approaches me.

He punches my shoulder. "Let's go, slowpoke."

Just as I open my mouth to answer him, he gives me a strong push off the concrete edge. My arms flail helplessly for a moment, before I fall backwards. I scream as Quinn follows me down the air, the ground rushing up to meet me. A blue force-field appears underneath me as a knee-jerk reaction, catching me and Quinn.

"Geez, I thought that for a second you forgot you had magical-energy powers." Quinn snarks.

"It's not _magical_ , and you almost killed us!" I yell.

He smirks. "But I didn't."

I roll my eyes and pat his frizzy, black hair. "Hey-! No touching! "He squeaks.

"Just give me a warning the next time you try to murder me, Gizmo."

He points his finger at me. "And what's with that nickname you always call me? Who's Gizmo, anyway?"

I blink. "No one- it's just a name, Quinn."

"Whatever, let's find the rest of the team."

We walk for a few minutes before the smell of smoke hits my face.

"We must be at 23rd street." I tell Quinn.

He snorts. "Duh."

I look up and see tendrils of black smoke in the sky. We turn the corner.

"Blue and Quinny! Finally!" Leon greets. Dirt and sweat cover his face, and his orange hair is stuck up in all directions.

"What's going on-" My words trail off as I glance over his shoulder.

The large building in front of us must have been an apartment complex, judging by its size and height. I can barely see it, though. Smoke is everywhere, the red fire shining through the haze. Several fire trucks and police cars line the front, and firefighters spray jets of water into the windows. Mindy approaches me, two police officers following behind.

"Rush, we need you in there." She says, raising her voice above the sound of the chaos.

I blink. "What?"

A blonde police officer steps forward. Her voice is the kind that grabs my attention as soon as she speaks.

"You must be Cyan Rush, of the Skip City Protectors."

"Um- yeah. That's me."

She squints her eyes at me for a second, but then waves it off. "Sorry, you seemed familiar. Listen, there are still two people trapped on the third floor, we need you in there- now."

My eyes widen. "What? I don't…isn't there someone better for this job?" I can't do this. This is too dangerous. I scramble for words. "I- um- Leon is heat-resistant, why can't he do it?"

"Cyan Rush!" Mindy commands. I flinch. "Are you trying to pass on this responsibility to someone else? We need _you_. Leon's energy is drained, Adara has her hands full trying to conduct the fire away from other areas, and Quinn needs to help the bomb squad."

"B-bomb squad?"

She nods her head. "They think this fire was intentional."

My hands are shaking.

A crash sounds from the building. There's more shouting. Mindy grabs my hands. "Rush, _get in there_. _Now!_ "

"If there's a bomb, I can't go!"

"We don't know if there's a bomb - you can shield yourself if there is! But these people, they can't save themselves- you need to save them!" Mindy shouts, almost pleading. She pushes me towards the building, I get so close I can feel the heat.

"I-I can't!" I can't. I'll die. It's a miracle I survived the first time- I won't risk it again! I need to live to save people! I can't help if I'm dead!

My eyes sting from the smoke. Someone's screaming. I lift my head and realize my hands are over my ears. It's me that's screaming.

I turn my head. Quinn is pointing at a window. A red dot flickers, faster and faster behind the window.

"Look out!"

There's a terrible ringing in my ears.

Then it all goes black.

#####################################################*

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	3. Chapter 3

I open my eyes, greeted by the familiar dark. I reach to my right for my mask. It isn't there.

Jolting up, I frantically feel around for it. My breath catches as someone gently pushes me back down on the bed.

"Woah, cool your jets, sleeping beauty!" I hear Leon's voice say.

"Where's my mask?"

"Calm down, we've got it."

I jump at the click of a door opening, and several smaller clicks from heels.

I hear a high-pitched gasp. "Thank Isiah you're… well!" Adara cries. "You were…er… Leon? What is that saying with the two faces very close to each other?"

Leon thinks. "Um- you mean face-to-face?"

Adara claps her hands. "Yes! Cyan Rush, you were face-to-face with that explosion. Any closer and you would have…" Her words trail off.

"I know, I almost died." But whose fault is that? I didn't want to get anywhere near that bomb. Mindy is the one who practically sent me to my death.

I feel my fingernails digging into my palms.

There's a moment of silence before I hear little whisperings of conversation. After a moment, I feel Adara's hand on mine.

"…You'll have to stay here and recover for a while, you realize." Adara states.

"What?"

"Your burns are pretty bad, Blue."

I frown. "What? What do you mean, I don't feel anything."

Another long bout of silence.

"Well, um-" Adara hesitates.

"Ada, why don't you go tell Mindy and Quinn that she's awake?" Leon offers.

"That's…a wonderful idea." The sound of heels fades away.

I reach to my eyes and rub the lids. I feel so exposed without my mask. My eyes have always been seen through the transparent, white-tinted lids of my mask, but without the barrier, I feel like I should hide them.

"Rush, can you look at me?"

I almost jump at the sound of Leon's voice.

"Hey, are you okay?"

My eyes turn towards the sound.

"Look me in the eyes, Rush."

Please don't find out. Please, please, please.

"Rush… are you-" Leon gently lifts my chin up. I can almost feel his eyes searching mine.

He takes it away. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

I laugh nervously. "Seriously, Le-"

"Answer the question."

My hands grip the bedsheet. No, this can't be happening.

I start to breathe faster as I grab for answers.

"Five."

"No."

"Two."

" _No_."

A lumps wells up in my throat, and I turn my head to the side.

"Oh my go- the explosion did more damage than we thought." Leon says with slight panic in his voice.

For a second, I forget which explosion he's talking about.

"Wait- no, Leon. The explosion didn't do this. I was- I've always been" My voice breaks, "like this…"

" _Blind?_ You've always been blind?!" He's almost yelling at me now. "Why didn't you tell me- us- sooner?"

I blink back tears as my voice wavers. "It didn't matter, the mask helps me see- and I haven't been blind my _whole_ life."

"You-it… Rush…" He takes a deep sigh. "Tell me everything."

#************#

I swallow the lump in my throat and wait for Leon to respond. I wish I could see the look on his face. I wish I could tell what's going through his head.

I hear him get up. "Rush, you've had a hard life." His voice is raspy. Was he crying?

I laugh dryly. "That's an understatement."

"-But you're here, that has to mean something."

I lift my head. "What do you mean?"

He clears his throat. "Well, you could have died in _two_ explosions. You have working legs. You're protecting an entire city, and- oh yeah- you're freaking _Cyan Rush_."

I smile. "You have a point."

I reach up and feel my eyes. "But I'm blind."

"We'll fix your mask."

My eyes widen. "What? You said you had it!"

"We _do_ have it! It's just…crushed." I can almost imagine him shrugging.

"Well, you can fix it, right?" I ask hesitantly.

"We will, don't worry."

I cover my face. Why can't anything just go perfectly for once?

Leon takes my hands away from my eyes. "But, like Adara said, even when we fix it, you still have to recover before you can get back on your feet."

"Why? I feel fine, really."

"I know you feel fine, but you… still have…a little while to go before you're-um- 100% okay."

"What do you mean?" I press.

"Geez, Rush! Always with the questions." I hear the scrape of a chair and a door opening.

"Leon!"

"I have to talk with the rest of the team. I'll be back."

The door clicks closed, and I'm alone.


End file.
